Intentional Home

I came across a picture today from 2012. Three toddlers sitting in a living room. One child sitting in the middle of an entire box of tissues recently emptied and strewn about the floor. Another sitting on top of a coffee table, blanket covering the head, most likely singing a song to herself. The third, smiling proudly as she was no doubt the culprit who not only emptied the tissue box, but also the four other toy bins that were scattering across the living room floor.

I can look at this picture of my three children now and smile... because they are no longer toddlers. They are no longer dumping toys in the middle of the floor and leaving them there. They are not drawing on walls and putting every last little thing into their mouths. They use one Kleenex at a time, and 8 times out of 10 actually throw it away.

I’m glad I took that picture. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t seeing the charm of those little cherubs smiling up at me. I’m sure I was feeling stressed at the mess, inadequate to get all the things done, and just wanting a little less chaos for just a little bit.

 


As I look at that picture it is a great reminder to me that we can be intentional with our homes with the stage that they are in. Part of my angst at that time is that I was wanting a home that was not a toddler home. I wanted neat and tidy and quiet. Those are generally not words that go along with toddlers. But, if instead, I could see that my home, during that stage, was about keeping them safe and meeting their needs, then I could possibly have been more content with the state of the abode.

 Today the purpose of our home looks a bit different. We’ve got teenagers who, instead of dumping toys, dump bookbags. Instead of tossing tissues throughout a room, leave stinky socks. And though I don’t have to hide the sharpies to keep them from scribbling on the walls, I do need to hide my favorite stocking cap or my 12 year old may walk out the door wearing it.

 I still want a neat and tidy home. It’s just part of my personality to want that structure. But I also can acknowledge that while children are in the home, there are greater priorities. In the toddler stage the priorities for our family were

  • Be a place for them to know that Jesus loves them
  • keep them safe (cover the electric sockets!),
  • meet their needs (get them fed, love them lots),
  • and provide structure (goodness, get them to bed on time!)

 For this stage it’s

  • Be a place for them to know Jesus as their own Savior
  • Provide a safe place to land (because teens years are tough)
  • Meet their needs (why do they require so much food?!)
  • Provide structure (because so much of this world is inconsistent)

How about you? How are you intentionally using your home to serve your family? You may be using it more ways than what you realized. When I wrote this out it made me see that our home is so much more than walls that I want to decorate and carpets that always need swept. When we can take the time to see how we are intentionally using our home to serve, it can help us to be more content with the condition it is in right now. It may feel like a wreck, with smears on the windows and dishes in the sink, but if there are lessons being learned and hearts being built up, then your home is being exactly what it was meant to be.

 

Take some time to do this exercise for yourself. Think through and write out how your home can intentionally serve others. Keep this in a place that you can come back to when you start to get frustrated at the chaos or discontent with the state of your home. Use it to help you refocus on the important things, and to help you be intentional with the season of the home you are in right now.

 

 

 

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Comments

  1. My boys are 15 and 10, so I can relate well to both stages. Each stage of parenthood has its joys and its challenges. Thanks for reminding me about giving them a safe place and structure.

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    Replies
    1. A wise friend once told me that every stage is good in it's own way and not to dread any stage or try to rush. But to find the good in each one. It's been over a decade but it's still with me - and is so true!

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