The Intentional Life

How could this ridiculously adorable face bring me such frustration? Very easily. She is very good at it. My struggle lately has been with Madeline. I don't know if she is teething or not getting good sleep at night or feeling neglected or any number of things that the mommy guilt is telling me I am doing wrong, but some days all I can do is sit and have a good cry. It truly does seem like 80% of Maddie's day involves her crying, screaming, or hanging onto my leg. I have been struggling with my anger and I feel some days that my tolerance is so short. I find it hard to put into words exactly how I am feeling because it feels so awful to say these things about one of my children. I have to constantly remind myself that God treasures little children, and even asks us to be like them (not the screaming kind, mind you). I need to remember that God has entrusted this child in my care because He wants me to bring Madeline up to know Him so that He would be glorified through her l...

Love your enemies! Pray for them that persecute you... If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Matthew 5:44,46+47 A minister at our church just finished up a 7-Sunday sermon on Matthew chapter 5. It was so convicting. This last sermon was on the last few verses in chapter 5 and I've put the ones that have convicted me the most at the top of the blog post here. Yeah, I've heard all about loving my enemies and praying for those who persecute me. I've always envisioned that as those faceless people who hate Christians who need Jesus just as much as me. Those people I have never met but I am praying for them anyways. However, this sermon pointed my thoughts in a different direction. It pointed out those unpleasant people in my life. Those people I would just rather avoid because they make me uncomfortable. Or they grate on my nerves just a bit too much. These vers...

This morning we said goodbye to some very dear friends that we have gotten to know over the last 5 years. Nathan and Rachel Mueller, and their four children, packed up their belongings and moved north to Michigan where they will be attending school to be trained to be missionaries. Their plan is to go live in the remotest parts of the world and bring the gospel story to those who have never heard of Jesus. Although this is a few years off, we are sad to have them leave even though they are currently only a state away. I cry for my kids who have become great friends with the Mueller children. Kaine and Owen are only 9 months apart, Halle and Hannah only 6 weeks, and Layla and Maddie 2 months apart. Although they are not nearly as torn up as I am over the Mueller's leaving, I am sad for them and their friendship that will now have to be carried on from a distance. We hope to have our kids be their prayer warriors, each praying specifically for the Mueller kid who...

i need to get off and take a nap... Well, we are 6 weeks into this fulltime gig at Gateway (and 5 of those have been summer, mind you!) and i would like to go somewhere and take a nap for an entire day. But alas, that is not going to happen so.... I'll just post some pictures and update you on life. We are all moved into our little apartment that is attached to the main house. I like the coziness of it and the fact that we have our own stuff and a private place to retreat while we are on duty (something we did not have while being alternates). Our kids are loving living on campus and being able to be out in the big house with the residents. Days start here shortly after 6 as either Paul or I get up to go run (we're training for a 1/2 marathon, we've got to fit it in somewhere..). Then we get our kids up and ready for the day before greeting residents at 9:10 for breakfast. After dishes are done, the residents and Paul head...

Tonight we spend our last night here at our home in Grabill, IN. This house, which really doesn't belong to us (thanks employer Gateway Woods!), but has felt like it has for the last 2 years. When we moved into this house Owen was just over 2 and Hannah wasn't even a year. Now we are moving out with an almost 5 year old, 3 year old, and another addition - Maddie the 1 year old. This house has seen our joy and our frustration (both with family life and the job of houseparenting that we try our best at doing right). And now I am shedding a few tears (you know i am emotional!) as we say good-bye to the end of what we know and step into a new role that we are only slightly sure of. I am a mix of emotions at this point in time: apprehension, excitement, sadness, exhaustion - and i am not sure which one dominates over the other. I guess i just wanted to record this feeling(s) so i could look back on it and remember what an incredible time of transition this was and that I can ...

This year Hannah gets to share her birthday with my favorite holiday. Hannah actually celebrated her birthday 3 different times before this actual day that i don't really think she realized today was the actual day. However, i didn't want the day to go by with acknowledging the celebration of her birth. Hannah is boundless energy - she is constantly hopping. She is affectionate - she tells us many times a day "i love my mommy/daddy/Owen/Mads" And although she can drive us mad with her whining (we're still working on that) she makes us smile and laugh many times a day. Hannah, we love you and are so glad you are a part of our family! And to not overlook the whole reason we are able to celebrate - Thank you Jesus that you were willing to come to this earth, die on the cross, and rise from the dead to conquer sin and hell and death so that we can celebrate birthdays and look forward to heaven someday!

Well, we have become content with our crazy life as it is: raising three children under the age of 4, packing every few days to go live on campus at Gateway, working with delinquent teens (sometime as much as 7 at a time), getting Paul through college to get his Master's, doing our best to glorify God in our day to day lives. Ah, but I have found that although God calls us to contentment, once we find that place, He often calls us beyond it to stretch us some more. And so, Paul and I are taking on the challenge of fulltime houseparenting at Gateway. How does that differ from what we are doing now? Well, right now we live in a little house a few miles off campus and support the fulltime houseparents (Jarod and Molly Steffen) by running the house while they take their 9 days a month off, running doctor appointments, helping with treatment plan decisions, keeping the food room stocked, doing general maintenance around Cypress House and on campus, and completing other various thing...